Tag Archives: Maine couples boudoir Photographer

Sexuality and Boudoir Photography

Ashleigh Lundt Brand Ambassador 168 900x601 Sexuality and Boudoir Photography

Last night I happened across a conversation asking about how being a boudoir photographer affects your own sexuality, or how your sexuality affects your boudoir work, and it really inspired me to take a deep look at myself and really try to understand how the two connect for me.

Shooting boudoir is like being a Doctor to me, when I see clients nude (or nearly nude) regardless of gender, it does not affect me in a sexual way. I don’t look at them while they are changing (if they opt to not use the bathroom), and I don’t look at their body unless I’m looking THROUGH the camera, in which case I am only looking at angles, light, shape, etc. None of it is sexual. 

I naturally compartmentalize my work from my regular life in that way. I fully admit that I enjoy watching adult videos, or looking at adult photos. I think they are a great way to help get into the mood or to change things up a bit. However I have never once looked at a client or their photos in that way. When I am in the studio it’s very clinical to me, same when I’m editing.. I look for under eye circles, stray hairs, dust/lint on clothing, body lines that seem uneven, skin tones I may want to fix, exposed nipples the client may want covered, etc.

I can direct a client into a sexy pose, create an image and know that it is a sexy image, however, it doesn’t affect me the way it will it’s intended recipient.

I don’t know how much of this comes naturally to me, or how much of it is a result of my history.

I struggled for a long time with my own sexuality/sexual being… My first marriage… that relationship started when I was 16, it was dysfunctional and abusive and lasted until I was 22+, In recent years I’ve begun to recognize that while he and I “experimented” and had an active sex life (Nothing was off limits… including bringing in other girls… including strangers, my best friend, etc.) NONE of it was about me… It was all about him manipulating me into believing that I WANTED those things. 

Alyssa Pease 079 900x600 Sexuality and Boudoir Photography

When I got pregnant for the third time, that’s when things changed.

Before I got pregnant, I wasn’t able to consent to things we were doing because I was using alcohol excessively to escape from how miserable I was. The minute I got pregnant with my first child at 16, my ex took over every aspect of my life. I never had a chance to have any sort of control… he cut me off from my parents and siblings, everything was about him and what he wanted. By the time this happened 4 years later I was so miserable with him I was a drunk… I was drinking constantly just to escape how terrible things were… so when he started trying to put ideas into my head about what HE wanted, it was easy for him to manipulate me into thinking that what HE wanted was actually what I wanted. 

When I got pregnant… I had to stop drinking… He lost control and became unstable… I had to leave to protect myself and my children (This was my third pregnancy… we had 2 toddler boys and it was a Twin pregnancy where one of my twins died… and my husband didn’t care… he left me off to the side by myself to grieve our lost child and hope that our remaining twin would survive)

The fact that I stopped drinking changed everything. I started to recognize that the life I was living was NOT healthy, for me OR my children, and that my husband was mentally unstable. 

Kalaa Wilson Brand Ambassador 099bw 900x601 Sexuality and Boudoir Photography

I ended up leaving after having to have him involuntarily hospitalized for threatening suicide and then once he was released he manipulated his therapist into believing he was perfectly fine and didn’t need medication or therapy. The day I left he threatened to kill me if I slept with another man while still pregnant with his child. 

I did sleep with another guy, before I gave birth. It was an act of rebellion. It was my “last chance” to go against him, and I knew there was nothing he could do about it… It was a terrible sexual experience but the fact that I did it was enough for me. After that, I was finally able to see myself as someone who existed WITHOUT him… and worked on trying to figure out who that person was. One of the things I did was try to start to lose weight. I bought a Carmen Electra aerobic striptease workout video and decided to give that a shot… (I’ve written some about this before)

It was a no-go. I was SO uncomfortable with MYSELF that I couldn’t even WATCH the video, let alone TRY it! In all the years I was with him… all the sex we had, all the crazy things we may have done… I didn’t know how to BE sexual… I didn’t even know what I wanted out of a sexual relationship! 

Nancy Snodgrass 050 900x600 Sexuality and Boudoir Photography

It took me MONTHS before I was able to do the workout moves… and over those months I started dating…. After awhile, I finally got to the point where I was using those moves any time music played… I started dating an amazing guy and I let myself explore and learn about what I like and what I don’t like. 

The guy I started dating that summer is now my husband… we have an AMAZING sex life that is mutually beneficial, we are able to communicate when we have an interest in something or want to look more into something new, etc. 

I do this work because I have BEEN that woman… The one who is insecure, uncomfortable, doing things JUST because HE might like it… not because SHE might like it… And my GOAL is 100% of the time to have her experience what I experienced when I was finally able to try out those Carmen Electra aerobic striptease videos…. HERSELF!

The session I had Yesterday was one of those rare days where I get to experience the FULL effect of that transformation… my client cried just looking at the back of my camera… after struggling for months over scheduling conflicts and almost chickening out last minute, but yesterday was one of those days where everything that has gone wrong was all worth it for the final outcome… She finally saw herself as beautiful… saw her greying hair as gorgeous highlights in her dark hair, perfectly framing her face…. all of her insecurities became BEAUTIFUL when she saw her images, and I cannot wait for her to see the rest. 

THIS is why I do what I do. Because I have been that girl. I see myself in EVERY woman that I photograph, in ONE way or another. And I never want to STOP seeing myself in them, because if I ever do, then I will stop appreciating how far my life has come.



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Summer Session Schedule

Lizzy Cox 041 900x600 Summer Session Schedule

This Summer we are mixing things up a bit and trying something new! 

We know how hard it can be for Mom’s to find free time during the Summer while school is out, so we are changing up our schedule some to allow for more flexibility! 

This year we will be introducing Sunday Themed Sessions! 

These sessions will be held on predetermined dates through the summer (dates below) and each date will be dedicated to a specific theme! These themes were voted on by members of our Ladies Only VIP group (Join Here!) and we think they are going to be an absolute BLAST! 

There will only be room for 4 ladies on each of our Theme days, so don’t hesitate to book your spot! These sessions will include professional hair and makeup (with lashes application), and will be limited to one wardrobe/outfit and a 2 hour time frame (including hair and makeup). Because these sessions will be structured this way, they are priced slightly lower than our regular full sessions (which are still available on Wednesday afternoons through the Summer, for those who prefer our regular experience!) 

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“I don’t look like the girls on your website” and other nonsense I hear

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Seriously, I have heard it all. 

“I don’t look like the girls on your website”, “I don’t know how to look sexy”, “I don’t know how to pose”. 

First of all…. You don’t have to look like the girls on my website, because you look like you and that is exactly who you SHOULD look like! The girls on my website are their own individual people and that’s who they look like. 

Second of all, you don’t need to know how to pose OR how to look sexy because that is MY job!

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Exist In Photos

Weeks002 Exist In Photos

 

The last two days have been heartbreaking and overwhelming for our family. Yesterday my family lost this gorgeous woman, wife, mother. My cousin Desiree Strout was just 28 and on her way to give birth to her third baby (and first son) when they hit a patch of black ice and their truck rolled. She was killed in the crash and her baby boy is still in critical condition. Her husband, Harry Weeks, is in stable condition but has a long road ahead of him in terms of his emotional and physical recovery. Their oldest daughter, (8) who was with them, suffered minor injuries and was released later in the day, and their other daughter (2 1/2)  was with family and safe.

Losing Desiree has been a complete shock to our entire family, a family that, regardless of distance and time spent without seeing each other, has always been very close. My brother said it best when he said “Our family is nothing if not strong and united. When something happens to one of us, it happens to us all.” – We have all rallied together to try and build as much support as we can for Desiree’s husband Harry, so that he can recover and adjust to life without his wife. 

You never know when a loved one will leave you. Never EVER miss the opportunity to record your or their time on this Earth. Desiree’s babies are going to grow up without her, but she understood how important it was to document their family and her love for them, so they’ll always at least have these photos.

The photos below are a combination of a family session that we did in 2013 and then her maternity photos with her second child in 2015. Unfortunately, we were not able to update their family photos before we lost her. 

There are multiple benefit events being coordinated to help support the family, and we have also set up a GoFundMe for those who are unable to participate or wish to donate more. You can find the GoFundMe event here: https://www.gofundme.com/loving-wifemother-lost-too-soon

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News Outlets looking to use photos to report on this tragedy, please email me at info@jessicamichaelphotography.com 



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What to Wear for your Boudoir Session – Bodysuit Edition

I absolutely LOVE a good Bodysuit for almost EVERY client! They are flattering for almost every body type, super sexy, but can also be modest and tasteful! You can find so many different styles that will for sure work for any vibe you’re going for! Here are a few favorites I’ve picked out on Amazon (Click the photos to see them on Amazon and get pricing/sizing details – These are Affiliate links). You can see more suggestions on my What to Wear board on Pinterest! https://www.pinterest.com/JessicaMichaelPhoto/what-to-wear-boudoir/

 

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Urban Legends Series: Killer in the Window

Killer In the Window 093web 900x600 Urban Legends Series: Killer in the Window

 

“A 15-year-old girl was babysitting her little sister while her parents went out to a party. She sent her sister off to bed around 9:30 while she stayed up to watch her favorite T.V. show.

She sat in her recliner with a blanket and watched until it went off at around 10:30 after it went off she turned around in her seat to face the big glass door and watch the snow fall. She sat there for about 5 minutes or so when she noticed a strange man walking toward the glass from outside. She sat there staring as he stared at her back. He started to pull a shiny object out from his coat. Thinking it was a knife she immediately pulled the covers over her head. After about 10 minutes she removed the covers and saw that he was gone. She then called 911 and they rushed over.

They examined outside for any footprints in the snow, but there were none to be found. Two cops walked into her house to tell her the bad news and they noticed a trail of big wet footprints leading up to the chair where she was sitting.

The cops came to their conclusion and immediately told the girl she was very lucky because the man she saw staring at her was not standing outside, but he was standing behind her and what she saw was his reflection.”

 

Source



Posted in Fine Art